By Pat Samples, Aging with Gusto Coordinator, Vital Aging Network
Deb Mason’s life was devoted to her work and her grandkids. She was passionate about helping the low-income people in the nursing home where she was director of social services. Often her evenings were spent on the computer seeking post-release housing and other services for them. Her grandkids came over several times a week, sometimes for full weekends. Volunteering on the board for a nearby nonprofit kept the rest of her time occupied. Deb had a full, satisfying life.
COVID came and nearly all this disappeared. Her COPD made it too risky for her to keep working, so she retired. The grandkid visits were cut way back. “It was hard. I went from 100 to zero rather than easing into it,” Deb says.
A rude old lady
Deb homeschooled her granddaughter for a time, but that ended when the kindergartner rebelled against Deb’s insistence about the schoolwork, blurting out, “You’re a rude old lady. I want my grandma back.” Deb wanted the fun of just being a grandma back too, so other arrangements were made for the schooling.
Deb was stuck at home, not knowing what to do with herself. “I found myself feeling like one of my residents,” she says. “I was always telling them, ‘C’mon, get up, get moving.’ Now I was the one who didn’t want to get up.”
When her nonprofit board sponsored Aging with Gusto in the Time of COVID, a community discussion series offered through the Vital Aging Network, Deb decided to check it out. She found others her age who were also affected by COVID. She quickly felt a common bond with others in the series, especially when they were in small breakout groups discussing topics related to aging, ageism and COVID. “When you start to talk, you feel like you’ve known these people for years,” she says.
Refocus on the possible
“I loved the positivity of it all,” says Deb. “I didn’t realize how much negativity I’d been feeling. I had been focusing entirely on what I couldn’t do. I started thinking instead about what I could do.” She picked up some practical ideas too, and she is now having more interactions with her grandchildren.
“I can’t take my grandkids out to the movies anymore, but I can rent a movie and invite them over to watch with me. They think the popcorn and ice cream sundaes are cool.”
Deb is also looking into some community activities she can take part in. She has already ventured out to play bingo with social distancing, though she admits she feels a little guilty about doing so.
She saw that even her granddaughter had already picked up a negative “old lady” tag for Deb.
Seeing ageism in hiding
Another big takeaway from the Aging with Gusto discussion series was learning about ageism and seeing how common it is. She saw that even her granddaughter had already picked up a negative “old lady” tag for Deb. And Deb realized that she herself was using statements like “I feel old today” and “I’ve got to sit down because my old legs can’t take that. I’m going to start watching what I say.
“I got a lot of good information and I really enjoyed it,” she says of Aging with Gusto. “It was definitely worth the effort. I wish it would continue.”
What’s age got to do with it?
Aging with Gusto in the Time of COVID is a three-part series, offered through Zoom, that focuses on how we can maintain positive views of aging and live with gusto, especially in the midst of COVID. The Vital Aging Network will also re-introduce its standard Aging with Gusto series this summer.
Offered by Zoom and in person, Aging with Gusto discussions:
- Encourage more positive views of aging
- Heighten appreciation for the capacity of people of all ages to contribute in
their families and communities - Increase awareness of ideas, behaviors and practices that are based on misconceptions and biases about older people and identify ways to change them
- Develop personal plans for “aging with gusto”
To learn more about how you can bring the Aging with Gusto program to your community, contact Pat Samples at patsamplesawg@gmail.com or 763-560-5199.
